Just when things are feeling smooth and easy, you get a curve ball.
Thursday afternoon, B had a seizure. Long story short, we believe he has benign Rolandic epilepsy and he will have an EEG on Thursday to diagnose it. It's not the end of the world, and he will be fine. However, it's kind of a nightmare for me.
The seizures occur during sleep. Which means I have had the monitor on super loud and I jump at every sound that one of the boys makes. Even during the day I am looking at him and asking him if he is okay when I see him twitch or make a weird face or sound. I know/hope that this paranoia will fade away as time goes on, as he's not expected to have frequent seizures. If they even happen again, they should be extremely infrequent. But it's still jarring.
Today I had my 2nd trimester anomaly screen. Both babies are in perfect health. Great hearts, brains, kidneys, stomachs, umbilical cords, limbs, digits, etc. And they are both girls.
Two Girls.
I will have two boys and two girls. I am happy, I really am. But a part of me is nervous. I've never had a girl before, so it will be new. And it still drives home the fact that it is real. We are having two babies in a few short months.
Right now I have my outbursts at the boys. Just two kids and I lose my schmidt. How will I do it with four? Well, for one thing, I guess it will help that I won't be pregnant anymore.
I am 19 weeks and 2 days. They changed my due date to 2/17/2013. The girls are growing right on schedule with that due date. So I'm more than halfway there. However, I'm already ready to be done with being pregnant. My belly is getting in the way. My hormones are insane. I cry at stupid things and I'm indecisive and just generally crabby.
I know it's not fair to my boys or to C. But sometimes I just find myself yelling or nagging and it's like I'm watching from outside of my body.
Here's to hoping B's EEG goes well on Thursday. Here's to hoping that I can handle the next 18 weeks or so as a pregnant person with two young boys.
L
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